FaceBook lingo

1.  I'm afraid I can't talk FaceBook lingo, especially when it comes to commenting on my grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

2.  I never saw any of my grandparents. All but one was dead by the time I arrived, so

3.  My own children have experienced their grandparents, however, and I've learned a few things.

4.  The all-time favorite grandparent was Grandpa Carew.  He came home for lunch every day and sat in his recliner for a rest afterwards.  The grandkids who were there clamored to get up into his lap as he rocked gently.  "Teef! teef!" they'd holler, and he would clatter his false teeth at them.  "Do 'gin!" and he'd oblige.

5.  Sigh.  I do not have a whimsical personality that translates into FaceBookese.  And I do not live across the alley--several large bodies of water away, in fact.  So I see them online.  If the kid can reach his mouth with a spoon, I do not say he has "mad skilz!!"  If I would say anything at all, it would be "God in heaven...who is feeding you all this frosting s**t?"

Who knew??

1.  My new painting book (Daily Painting by Carol Marine) says Murphy's Oil Soap will clean your paint brushes even if they've gone overnight or longer without your removing the paint from them.  Did I believe this?  Not really.  I've had this one cheap old 2" brush that's had old paint hardening the bristles for months.  Ms. Marine says to soak such a neglected brush overnight in Murphy's Oil Soap right out of the bottle.  Just the bristles, not the metal band above them.  So I did it.  Poured the MOS into an old plastic glass, stuck the brush into it up to the metal band, let it sit overnight, and

2.  BINGO!!  my pore old brush is now soft and flexible and paint free.  You have to rinse out the Murphy's Oil Soap, of course, and the old paint with it, but I wouldn't have believed this if I hadn't done it myself.

3.  This is not house paint--it's artist's oil paint. But even so.  What a happy discovery!! 
That's it for today.  But I had to share this with you.

Think Old and Deaf.

1.  When people from the bank or the dentist call me and want me to call them back at a certain number or a certain time, I often tell them "think old and deaf".  In other words, don't talk SOOOO FAST.  (and yes, I have already requested that without much effect).  Sometimes I go so far as to say, "do you have a great grandmother?"  I'm assuming that their grandmothers are all at Zumba class or getting a PHD in Polish literature online. You may be or have a grandmother like that yourself.  Great grandmothers, however, often have slowed down a bit.  Especially if they are deaf and need your help to understand what the hey you are saying. 


2.  Why is there such a premium on SPEED in communications--like on the phone?   Does it cost more per second?  How about the relative cost of having to call someone back four or five times if
they don't get your message straight the first time?  Do-overs aren't free, are they?


3.   It doesn't help to talk to old deaf people LOUDER.  What rings our bell is speaking SLOWLY and DISTINCTLY. 

4.   Most of us started out hearing just as well or better than you.  But life intervened.  And now we're a little deef, y'know.  Take a deep breath.....

5.  "What?"  For Chrissakes, slowly and distinctly.....think "old and deaf."

Goin to the Movies....

1. It's Sunday, raining, middle o'January....some folks are thinking this be a good day to go to the movies.

2.  Called one of my offspring to ask what movie she & her husband saw recently.  I think it had the word violence or explosion in the title.  ugh.

3.  Asked her who was in it?  (silence)  "I LOVE that director (whoever it was)."  Too much thinking for me.  I love Ingmar Bergman's movies because of Liv Ullman or Erland Josephson.  Ingmar isn't in the flick. 

4.  Asked her if there were any women in the movie?  (Jessica....).  Sorry. I do not walk across the street for anything without Judi Dench or Meryl Streep or Melissa McCarthy or...who's that other one?  Amy Adams. or any French actress.
 
5.  It costs about $20 to see a movie (matinee/senior citizen tix) plus popcorn & diet coke (large, shared).  I am adding that amount to my little bank.  If I do that ten times, and don't spend any of it,
i can buy a new laptop and get rid of this keepsake.  Yaayyy!

Thoughts on Food....

1.   "One should eat to live, not live to eat." ~Moliere

A1.  Living to eat is fun, too. Sorry bout that.

2.  "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are." ~Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

A2. You're right!! I am a potato pancake!!

3.   "You don’t have to cook fancy or complicated masterpieces – just good food from fresh ingredients." ~Julia Child

A3. Thanks, Julia. Farmers Market today hereabouts. Will think of you and hope the good fresh stuff is not all gone by the time I get there. (If it's there at all...It IS January, you know....if it's fresh, it's probably from Chile. Fine with me.) I used to walk past your former house in Georgetown almost every day.

Purty Pitcher.....

Enuf with the snow.  Here is a photo sent from a friend who was visiting in other parts of the country, where they don't have to worry about sleet!!   They do have other worries, though.  I'll take sleet! uff da! lookit that evil eye!!

1.

Helpful Appliance Installer Guide for Seniors.....

1.  Ever have to replace your garbage disposer?

2.  Ever decide that Sears would help you make this an easy transaction?

3.  Did you ever go to Sears online to price these suckers?

4.  Did you ever pick out one that was onsale online?  And find it was not available in the local 
Sears store? 

5.  Did you ever order one that seemed comparable to what you originally wanted and was the only
option available?

6.  Did it arrive two days before it was supposed to arrive at Sears, to be delivered and installed by them (paid for, btw), only to learn that it was...

7.   NOT at all compatible with what you had (the nonfunctioning one to be replaced)?

8.  And would have to be reordered so that the Sears-hired installer could do it without adding a separate electrical outlet under your sink for an extra $60?

9.  Did you take to strong drink after the installer left without installing anything?

10.  Did you think you should move into a HOME?  (You know the kind....)

School Closing

1.  When I was growing up in Fargo, ND, I don't recall school being closed very often for bad weather.  It only happened during an actual, meteorologically verifiable Blizzard:  heavy snowfall, high winds (35 mph), 1/4 mile visibility--something like this: 

2.  Fargo had enough of these, but if one happened on the weekend, we were out of luck. 

3.  Almost nobody rode to school on a school bus in those days.  Because I lived half a block from the 1 mile cut-off for ridership, I had to walk.  So people who decided to close the schools didn't have to worry about the streets being closed.  But when I woke up on a school day, and I could hear the weather stripping HOWLING,  chances are it was a blizzard, and if so, there would be no school that day!!

4.   Huzzah!!  So, what did we do?  We went outside to play in the snow!!  We built snow forts, dug caves in the biggest, tallest drifts, and slid down them, too.  The snow was too dry to make good snowmen or snowballs, but we had fun.  And we were out of the house.  Some of us shoveled our walks (and our neighbors's walks).  Nobody drove a car during the WWII years, so we didn't have to shovel any driveways.   The only traffic was the city bus, which ran about every hour/half hour, and we would catch rides on the ice-covered streets by grabbing the bumper when it stopped for a stop sign.

5.  Here and now, there is no snow outside, no wind. I can see way across the street, and the schools started 2 hours late.  This is what it looks like now:

Check the volume first!

1.  I've been opening my junk e-mails so i can go down to the small print where it says  "UNSUBSCRIBE".

2.  So today, I clicked one, and all of a sudden, I hear this jazzy music.  wondered if it's my cell phone, whose sound I have not yet been able to identify. Looked around, didn't see it (it's in your POCKET, dear), then a voice breaks through the crappy tune and announces for all my building
to hear:

3.  HI...THIS IS _____ _____, INTERNATIONAL LOVE COACH....

4.  Gaaah!!  This ad is something that has snuck into my EFT newsletter.  I do not want or need an international (or just national) love coach.  But now my whole building has been treated to this
announcement because I didn't check the volume on my macintosh keepsake/laptop.  So I turn the sound down and off.  

5.  Then...I go out to move my laundry from the washer to the dryer.  One of the building's
eligible bachelors (i.e., male, walking upright) is sitting on the steps outside my
door to watch for the mail delivery.  He looks at his nails carefully as I walk past him.  Not to worry, Mr. _____. 

2015....is it me, or have the Republicans gone totally nuts??

1. If you have been voting for any Republicans, please don't do it again!!

2. Who cares about Republicans? 

3.  Not even Republicans care about other Republicans.

4.  Yoo hoo, Margaret and Helen....let's have another post from you.  Sen. Warren can't do it all by herself.  And good luck to Wendy!

5.  Gotta get back to my dreams....ciao.